In the middle of town lies a square. It hosts the 4th of July and Christmas parades, outdoor concerts and movies. There are restaurants, bars, a great little coffee shop, bookstores (with kitties!), furniture stores and a local food market that sells the best goat cheese I’ve ever had.
The square also underscores my…challenged sense of direction. Four differently named (!) streets intersect in the middle of town. I’ve lived here for almost a year and still have to stop and give serious thought on which way to turn so I get home without making any u-turns.
Learning your way around is hard. Change is hard. There is no getting around it, just getting through to make it to the other side. And sometimes, at least in my case, it includes u-turns.
I make a lot of u-turns.
As excited and happy as I am about this move. As much as people have welcomed me. As much as my quality of life has improved. As much as I love it and everyone here? Some days are still hard.
I miss my peeps. I miss the ocean and burritos I don’t have to eat with a fork and knife. I miss walking across the street from…basically anywhere…and grabbing a latte. I miss things and places and the cool Pacific Northwest air. It can be a little confusing when you’re homesick but also really love your new home.
When people ask how things are going, I always tell them well. Because it’s true. I am happy and grateful every day for this move. I’m also a firm believer in focusing on the good while quietly working behind the scenes to change the difficult. But I feel it’s important to note that all stories have struggle.
I mentioned being discombobulated to a woman I met recently, who rest her hand on my arm, leaned in and said “oh child, I’ve lived here my whole life and I still get turned around up at the square.”
So this is my story of struggle from the square and trying to understand which quadrant I’m in without the sense of direction that comes from time and perspective. Maybe you’re going through some changes to?
Well if you happen to confuse the waitress, your boyfriend and yourself when you get teary eyed at a restaurant because you really wanted breakfast and she tells you that you missed the cut off and they’re only serving lunch (okay we’re still totally talking about me), this is me resting my hand on your arm, leaning in and saying no matter how long you’ve been somewhere you may still get a little turned around and it’s all going to be okay.